Relationship Advice on Stability, Self-Sufficiency, and Independence

Again, these characteristics tend to blend.

We’ve all heard the joke,

“Question: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?”

“Answer: Homeless…” 

We know women who are absolutely convinced there are only two reasons any man ever gets married.

1) He thinks he’ll be able to get sex anytime, and

2) He thinks he’ll have someone to cook his meals and clean up after him.

That may be something of an overstatement, but do you know even one woman who hasn’t, at sometime in her life, taken on a “charity case?”

Here are some signs your Prince may be looking for

a “mommy” who will take care of him rather than being a happy, loving, emotionally fulfilled partner, or

a "meal ticket" who will bring home a paycheck while he plays 36 holes four times a week.

He often waits for you to pay when you go somewhere. This is a variation of the time-honored line,

“I seem to have left my wallet at home,”

and is usually accompanied by a promise that he’ll

“…get it next time…”

If it happens more than once in a row, we suggest you say

“Check please.”

on the entire relationship.

Low motivation, lack of goals. People in their 20s are still often deciding what they want to do with their lives, but once someone hits 30, you’ve got to wonder why they haven’t settled into a career yet, or aren’t striving to get into one they think will be more rewarding.

Remember what Tommy LaSorda, the former manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, once said.

 “Some people make things happen…”

 Some people watch things happen…

 Some people stand around and ask, ‘What’s happening?”

If your Prince seems comfortable in the third group, ask yourself, “Will I really enjoy supporting this man for the rest of my life?”

Because there’s a good chance that’s what you going to do.

He’s vague about the details of his job and reports of his income are inconsistent or non-existent.

We should mention up front that in the Internet Age, there are people who work exclusively at home. Their neighbors are usually distrustful of them, and may even suspect them of being drug dealers.

Twenty years ago, if your Prince wasn’t trudging off to work five days a week, there was reason to wonder how he supported himself. These rules no longer apply.

The Internet allows people to work anytime and anyplace they can get online. And some of those people make gobs of money without ever walking out their front door.

That said, you should still be on “wart watch” if you start dating someone who seems reluctant or unable to tell you much about the nature of his work.

Also be wary if he tells you different things about his income at different times.

While it’s true that in some cases, a person’s income fluctuates from month to month (especially for commission-based sales people and certain professionals), you should be able to get a generally consistent number over a period of time.