The Love and Relationship Quiz

Take This Relationship Test by Asking These Important "Red Flag" Questions

Attitudes

Does he/she disrespect people who serve you?

Does he/she automatically assume he can make decisions for you in both small and large matters? What movie to see, what restaurant to go to, etc?

Does he/she use commanding language like

“I want you to ________” instead of “What would you think if I ____________?”
 
“I’m going to ___________ instead of “I’d like to ___________. Do you think that would be okay?”
 

Does he/she dismiss your opinions as unimportant or uninformed?

Does he/she frequently interrupt you, especially when you’re talking to other people at a party or similar group setting?

Does he/she often finish your sentences for you, even when you know exactly what you want to say and are not searching for words to express yourself?

Does he/she say thinks like

“I don’t think you’re being very smart…”

“What were you thinking?”

“I can’t believe you did that…”

Does he/she exhibit this kind of behavior in front of you when dealing with others?

Does he/she minimize your accomplishments, your job, your career, your paycheck?

Does he/she act as if everything he/she does matters more than anything you do?

Does he/she openly flirt with someone else when he/she’s with you, and then when you say it made you uncomfortable, he says something like,

“Oh, come on. You can’t possibly be jealous of him/her.”

Does he/she leave messages on your cell phone, and then call again if you don’t return his/her call?

Did he/she may come on strong early in the relationship and dazzle you with a lot of attention?

Did he quickly wants to commit to an exclusive relationship and showers you with gifts, flowers and other tokens of his/her affection?

Is he/she blatantly sexist, racist, or constantly judgmental?

Doesn’t he/she seem to enjoy to tell you what he/she thinks about anything, and probably everything, without being asked?

Does he/she mistreats pets, especially small ones or disregards any pain, suffering or discomfort he/she may cause them?

Similarly, does he/she disregard or minimize the feelings or physical well-being of children?

Does he/she rarely show emotion?

Does he/she seem uncomfortable with emotions, even yours?

Is he/she secretive?

Does he/she expect you do all the simple chores and errands?

Does he constantly ask you to do favors or run errands for him, even though you're just as busy as he is--if not more.

When you ask him to do a favor or run an errand for you, does he almost always say, "I can't. I don't have time."

Does he/she believe rules are for everyone else, but not him/her?

Is he/she eternally suspicious of everything and everybody?

Is he/she defensive about everything?

Does he she seem to hate every job he/she's ever had and disliked everyone he/she ever worked for?

Is he/she compulsively indecisive?

Is he/she compulsively insecure?

Does he/she seem to fret and worries about everything?

Character Issues

Does he/she only wants to see you on weekdays?

Does he/she want to spend all your time together at your place?

Does he/she spends a lot of time with his/her friends but gets very non-specific, possibly even evasive about the details?

Does he/she keep you away from his/her friends and co-workers?

Does he/she say he only has a cell phone?

Or, if it’s verifiably true that a cell phone is the only phone that he/she has, does he/she turn it off when you’re together?

Does he/she think his/her time is more important than yours, or similarly, he/she thinks your time isn’t important at all?

Does he/she show low motivation and a lack of goals?

Is he/she vague about the details of his/her job and reports of his/her income are inconsistent or non-existent?

 
Communication Style

Does he/she interrupt you frequently?

Do your conversations often focus on him/her and his/her accomplishments?

Does he/she talk a lot about himself/herself without being prompted by your questions?

Does he/she bring up things he/she’s accomplished as if he/she’s trying to impress you?

Does he say things like

 “I want you to _________...”

 “Here’s what you’re going to do…”

 “Go get me ______…”

Do the details of his/her stories change with each telling?

Does he/she make you play “20 questions?”

Does he/she use technology like email, voicemail, and caller ID to control the timing of communication between you?


Family Matters

Did he/she grow up in dysfunctional home?

Did he/she have to take over parenting because the biological parents were unavailable or emotionally detached?

Did one parent die, desert, or become detached somehow?

Did he/she have parents who were impossible to please?

Did he/she have “helicopter” parents?

Was his childhood “too happy.”

 


Friends, Co-workers and "Exes"

Has he/she been married more than once?

Did his/her last marriage end in less than two years?

Does he/she talk about his/her exes as if they were all crazy?

Does he/she spell out for you, in detail, the character flaws and shortcomings of other relationships in his/her life?

Does he/she talk about how other men/women have “disappointed” him/her?

Is he/she still “good friends” with one or more ex?

Is he/she having trouble getting over the most recent ex?

Is there a problem finalizing the divorce?

Does he/she keep you away from his/her friends?

Does he/she not want to meet your friends, or makes it clear he/she doesn’t like your friends?

Does he/she expect to spend lots of time with his/her friends, but becomes resentful when you spend any time with yours?

Does he/she complain when you spend time with your friends but not him/her?

Does he/she want to know too much about your friends?

Does he/she want you to meet his/her family right away?


Intimacy

Was he/she eager to have sex on the first date?

Is he/she getting rougher and more physical with each intimate encounter?

Is he/she not interested in intimacy?



Moods

 

 

Does he/she get road rage?

 

Does he/she “fly off the handle?” This is basically road rage without the road.

Does he/she explode over trivialities?

Does he/she “hurricane” or shout and scream when angry?

Does he/she push or poke when he’s mad?

Does he/she stay angry for a long time?

Does he/she become sullen and uncommunicative when upset?

Does he/she show emotional extremes? Another way to ask this is, “Does he run very hot and very cold?”


Places and Spaces

Does he/she start a lot of home remodeling projects without ever finishing them?

Is his/her car really messy and dirty?



Psychological Concerns

Is he/she showing any of the early warning signs of the following addictions:

Alcohol?

Drugs?

Gambling?

Sex?

Does he/she exhibit low self-esteem?

Does he/she exhibit narcissistic tendencies?

Does he/she seem like he/she wants to be "your hero?"


 Dating and Relationship Red Flags