Relationship Advice on
Lack of Respect

Ask yourself these questions. If the answer to any of them is yes, there's a good chance you're not always going to get the respect you deserve. 

Does he disrespect people who serve you? If he verbally berates or beats up on waiters, waitresses, or anyone who has to serve him as part of their job, he may have a bloated sense of self importance.

Yes, there may be times when you’d like him to be gently forceful to get the service he (or both of you) are paying for, but when the disrespect gets loud in public, or profane, you might want to ask yourself, “Is this the kind of treatment I’m in for someday?”

Chances are pretty good that it is.

Does he automatically assume he can make decisions for you in both small and large matters? What movie to see, what restaurant to go to, which car to buy, etc.

This tells you he already thinks he’s in charge—or ought to be. If this type of behavior shows up early in a relationship, it’s only likely to become more pronounced—and maddening—as time goes by.

Does he use commanding language like

“I want you to ________” instead of “What would you think if I ____________?”
 
“I’m going to ___________ instead of “I’d like to ___________. Do you think that would be okay?”

Who made him the boss of you? These sound like small things, but they’ll usually apply to big things too later on.

Does he often finish your sentences for you, even when you know exactly what you want to say and are not searching for words to express yourself?

Does he say thinks like

“I don’t think you’re being very smart…”

“What were you thinking?”

“I can’t believe you did that…”

Does he exhibit this kind of behavior in front of you when dealing with others?

Is he dismissive? Does he frequently interrupt you, especially when you’re talking to other people at a party or similar group setting?

Do you catch him rolling his eyes when you say something, especially when there are others around.

Does he minimize your accomplishments, your job, your career, your paycheck? For instance, you share some good news with him--you got a raise—and he says

 “Geez, after taxes, that’s nothing.”

Or he refers to something major you’re doing at work as

“Your little project…”

Does he act as if everything he does matters more than anything you do?

Does he blatantly “oogle” other women when he’s with you? How many times have you sat in a restaurant with your Prince and watched his eyes follow another woman walking by.

Okay, we’re all guilty, male and female, of doing a little “checking out” once in a while. But we wish that when it’s HIM checking out HER, he could be a little more subtle about it.

Or, better yet, just skip it all together when he’s with US.

Well, that may be a little too much to expect.

But here are a few things that are not.

Does he openly flirt when someone else when he’s with you? And then when you tell him it made you uncomfortable, he says something like,

“Oh, come on. You can’t possibly be jealous of her.”

But…

Does he exhibit jealously quickly? Does he get curt when he thinks your waiter is paying undue attention to you while taking your order?

Does he start tapping his foot, arms folded, when you go Kinko’s to get copies for “your little project” and you spend an extra minute discussing color themes with the young male employee behind the counter?

Does he leave messages on your cell phone, and then call again if you don’t return his call in the next three minutes? Does he ask, as if he’s joking,

“Were you talking to your other boyfriend?”

Danger, danger…

Does he want too much, too soon?

And we’re not talking about sex here. That’s a subject for later on.

The question here is, does he want you to commit to an exclusive relationship, start shopping for a house together, or even talk about the having kids with you?

Whoa there, buckaroo.

This Prince will typically come on strong early in the relationship and dazzle you with a lot of attention: the knight who sweeps in on a white stallion and seems ready to ride off into the sunset with you beside him

And all this is happening right after your first date.

He showers you with gifts, flowers and other tokens of his appreciation

This can be flattering at first, but it’s also a red flag.

Metaphorically speaking, he’s putting a “full nelson” on you.

Think of it this way: an affectionate hug is nice; a “full nelson” stranglehold is not.

The “nelson,” if you weren’t aware, is a wrestling maneuver named after the British war-hero Admiral Horatio Nelson, who gained fame for surrounding, and then destroying his enemies in naval battles.
 
This is probably a guy who can evolve quickly from “I like you” to “I own you.”

Disappoint him by telling him otherwise and he’s likely to react bitterly and maybe even violently.

You’ve seen that car insurance commercial where one party is throwing another party’s stuff out the window, down onto the street?

That’s him.

You might also “bump into him” after you’ve detached from and you’ve starting to date someone else. Is it just a coincidence that he keeps  showing up at the same places you go with the new beau?

Probably not.

The Prince just described may have some similar traits that will tell you warts are going to start popping out any minute as he morphs into his real shape…a frog.