Dating Advice Related to Body Language

The art and science of body language has gotten a lot of attention in the last 40 years or so as behavioral scientists realized that we often talk with our posture as loudly as we talk with our voice.  

But many people still don’t “hear” body language as clearly as they hear the spoken word.

Some body language characteristics are widely known and accepted.

When you fold your arms and cross your legs during a one-on-one conversation, you’re telling someone you’ve erected a barrier between yourself and them, possibly because you don’t like them or don’t trust them.

A woman who plays with her hair or “flips” her hair is generally thought to be flirting, or at least to be saying “I like what’s happening here.”

Someone who puts their hand over their mouth while they’re talking is probably lying.

All these signals are fairly well known to people.

But what if you’re just entering a relationship? What body signals tell you that the Prince on the other side of the table, is really a frog in disguise.

One of the women in our group tells of one signal her husband displayed early in her courtship that should have tipped her off. But she says she wasn’t sophisticated enough to recognize it.

“Whenever he’d hand me something,” she said, “he’d never look at me. Whether it was a piece of paper, a pen, or a bowl of broccoli at dinner. He wouldn’t make eye contact. He’d just expected me to guide my hand to the object and take it from him while he did something else. After years of living with him, I realized that this body language practically screamed, ‘My time is more important than yours. I have other things occupying my attention, and they’re more important than you.’ I didn’t realize it then—but I realize it now—it was a metaphor for our whole marriage.”

Eye contact is one of the most obvious elements of body language.

While it’s true people sometimes look away or look upward when they’re thinking—even if they’re still talking while they’re doing it—it’s not hard to tell when someone won’t “look you in the eye” because they’re hiding something.

Someone who truly wants to know you and feel close to you will keep his eyes focused on yours.

If he doesn’t, it’s probably because he doesn’t want your eyes focusing on his.

There's a saying that goes,

“The eyes are the windows to the soul”

We believe there should be another saying…

 “Eyes that hide are eyes that lie.”

No one needs that.

Related articles in this section:

Communication Style

Talking and Conversation

Unspoken Expectations

Verbal Abuse