Ambitious Men

Dangers in the Drive for Power and Money

When the truth is found to be lies,
and all the joy within you dies...

The words from Jefferson Airplane's 1967 pop hit "Somebody to Love" rang true for the wives of a number of high profile, powerful men in 2011.

In a stretch of a few Spring weeks, ambitious and famous men named Arnold Schwarzanegger, John Edwards and Anthony Weiner admitted to physical or emotional infidelity. Women who are seeking Prince Charming among the rich and famous should take note.

Okay, it's true. Getting into a relationship with someone who's wealthy, powerful or a celebrity does appeal to many women in a big way. When Henry Kissinger said, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac," he was probably talking about its effect on men. But dating or marrying Mr. Megabucks or John Q. Politician can be quite an aphrodisiac for women too.

Unfortunately, as Maria Shriver, the late Elizabeth Edwards and Huma Abedin (Mrs. Anthony Weiner) found out, there can be a downside. A very big downside. In 2011, their names were added to a fast-growing list - Spitzer, Sanford, Ensign, Vitter and Gingrich - of women who experienced a marital meltdown in recent years. It's probably little consolation that even a number of of First Ladies - married to U.S. presidents, the most powerful and ambitious men of all - have dealt with mischievous mates through the years. Franklin Roosevelt had Lucy Mercer Rutherford. Dwight Eisenhower had Kay Summersby. John F. Kennedy had Marilyn Monroe (and probably many others). Bill Clinton had Monica Lewinsky (and almost certainly many others).

So what's up - excuse the expression - with ambitious, powerful men and their seemingly overpowering "need to spread their seed?"

Well, there's actually been research done on this, and any woman entering into a relationship with a high profile, alpha male-type should look it up and read it front to back. It seems there's some evidence that these leaders of the pack are genetically predisposed to mark their territory in as many geographical locations as they can - thanks to their testosterone levels.

Most men who have gotten as far as they've gotten are high testosterone people," said Helen Fisher recently in the New York Times. She was speaking of Anthony Weiner's digital dalliances on Twitter that cost him his seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. Fisher is a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. "Along with all that ambition comes a high sex drive. Testosterone is linked to both of them."

David C. Geary, a professor of Psychological Science Department at the University of Missouri at Columbia said in the same NY Times article, "From an evolutionary perspective, the whole goal of men striving for power is to increase their access to sexual opportunities."

So, while you may love the idea of joining the well-to-do, strolling down Park Avenue arm-in-arm with a Lord of Wall Street, keep in mind that the chances your marriage will crash and burn someday increase along with hubby's high profile.

In speaking of the dangers of ambition, Macbeth said this: "Vaulting ambition, which overleaps itself and falls on the other." In today's simple English, this means ambition makes men do crazy things. And according to some studies, a man's ambition may be driven by his testosterone level.

So all women entering into a relationship with an ambitious man should take heed of the following proverb: "When a man's penis gets hard, his brain gets soft."

When this happens, the truth about him - way too often - is found to be a lies.